Are stupid people smug? Is your "excessive pride" allowed to stand in the shadow of an uninformed perspective?
My son says I am manipulative. "Yes, mom you are manipulative. Everyone knows it. Dad knows it. Your friends know it."
How do I capture this little gem of a tirade and insert it next to the "nature" photos and forced home-cooked meals on social media.
"Hey, I ran this morning. Over 8 miles and I saw a large turtle and a beautiful Heron." Take a look here!
I know how to catalog my singular experiences but the noise that interrupts what I want to do and what I seemingly am expected to do by others often gets left on the cutting room floor.
Aren't all parents manipulative? You get the vegetables into their digestive tracks by hiding them in smoothies and soups. You introduce social discourse and intellectual curiosity to seed compassion and knowledge. You certainly can't leave a stack of Noam Chomsky books scattered throughout your home and anticipate them falling in love with a leading liberal intellectual by chance--can you?
But you can lead by example. Demonstrate the ability to hold a tension while you read the literature or research the topic. Well yes, originally Dr. Fauci did not encourage us to make a run on surgical masks to protect against Covid-19. We did not have data and the concern was he did not want them diverted from the healthcare professionals that required them. See? I can speak a truth without throwing the expert out of the window with the proverbial bathwater.
A young woman walked towards me in the hall outside of LabCorp in my town. No mask, no hubris--almost no pants. As she approached I mentioned that she would need a mask to enter the waiting area. "What, I need a mask?" she whined. I was in the hall informing my son by phone that yes he indeed had an appointment for the Covid-19 antibody test but he did not as of yet, have the order for the test.
"I don't see it mom. There is nothing on this page" he accused in a manner only available to 18 year olds.
"Keep looking. It is there. Good lord I need to get this woman away from me. I will be right back. Text me if you can't find it."
He ear-witnessed me "manipulating" a young adult into heading back down the hall to procure a mask. Of course, she coughed and made no attempt to cover her mouth or appreciate the irony of her actions.
I rely on the Covid-19 antibody test to periodically assess any potential exposure. We are going to visit my 82 year old mother and even with masks and social distancing I like a little data on my side.
So after a few weeks of begrudgingly writing a clinical manuscript I am heading north for a quick visit to help my mom with a few things. Things that could be done by phone if I was more patient. But I am not. Or more manipulative--which apparently comes and goes.
Full disclosure. I am a recovering medical writer. I cast away the 6 figure income in exchange for becoming reacquainted with my soul but the abrupt financial impact of Covid-19 left me vulnerable and needing to replace reduced income. If you make your money speaking and flying around the country you are definitely picking up what I am putting down.
I did it for the money. I am not a stupid person. Maybe even smug at times when it comes to medical writing--but I hate it. It makes me hate writing. The deadlines and stupid comments like "let's try this word instead of this one" and "don't show this in the graphic, just mention it briefly in the discussion" numbs my brain like too cold ice-cream.
But I could pay my mortgage for almost 6 months with this gigantic pay out. Good-bye soul. See you in a few months.
Are we all doing weird things to get by in these uncertain times? I don't want to complain or whine because we are all so fortunate in comparison to so many. I tell my kids all the time, "No whining on the yacht!"
There seems to be no end in sight. I think David Sedaris has it right. There are 2 choices. You can either pay someone to listen to your problems or write about your problems and let people pay you.
Well, who is smug now?
"An ancient Japanese legend promises that anyone who folds a thousand origami cranes will be granted a wish by the gods."--Wikipedia
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Thank you for making a donution!
In a world of "evidence-based" medicine I am a bigger fan of practice-based evidence.
Remember the quote by Upton Sinclair...
“It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it!”